All posts tagged: Women

Permission To Course-Correct

Yes, you have permission. You’ve always had permission. Our whole lives, social constructs and institutions put so much pressure on us to get life right the first time around. And when we don’t get it right—as humans are prone to mistakes and bad judgment—we know in our heads that we have the choice to course-correct, but most people don’t dare. And when we do dare, we go through this whole internal crisis. But still, most won’t dare. Why? Because it’s easier to stay the course, to keep on smiling as we play the part we’ve created and built up for ourselves over the years. And all the while, we’re dying inside. Think about it: how are we to make the most informed decision about our future career paths at age 16? How can we make a lifelong decision about whom to marry at age 21 or 25 when we haven’t even quite understood who we are? Chances are, those choices are made based on very limited knowledge of the world, of ourselves, and what we …

Personal Struggles Aren’t Any Less Important During A Pandemic

When the world essentially shuts down in the blink of an eye, where even the humdrum of daily life grinds to a halt, the world’s busiest cities in a state of complete emptiness we never would’ve imagined possible, it’s fair to say, it’s shocking. I’m probably still in shock. The speed, gravity, and all-encompassing way this pandemic has permeated and disrupted every aspect of our individual and collective lives is — based on sheer scale — impressive. Such a massive event triggers our fight or flight instinct, it takes us off balance, and for many of us who suddenly find ourselves with a lot more time on our hands to ruminate and a lot less human contact, it shifts perspectives and perhaps makes us come to realisations we otherwise wouldn’t have had. Like every single one of you, I have personal struggles of all shapes and sizes. But since home confinement began, I’ve learned to see the bigger picture and really found a renewed sense of not sweating the small stuff. I am but a …

Don’t Say You Can’t, Tell Me You Won’t

On truth and broken promises The sweetness of beautiful promises Intoxicating, dripping like morning dew Matched only by sweet kisses Doubts, fears give way to what feels true Words so precious, my heart in your hand But when I ask for more, you always say ‘I can’t’ You asked for patience, you need more time Sshh, quiet down inner voice, buckle down, stand by Why does it hurt? Loving you is my only crime And why, after the laughter, do I break down and cry? Mere crumbs, I know, you give what you can So when I ask for more, you always say ‘I can’t’ Every sunrise is brighter, sunsets more divine Senses peak, awakened like never before The mundane made special, your existence sublime Life is extraordinary, why ask for more? Because I know my worth, I know where I stand Proof is in the pudding, you always say ‘I can’t’ Mind blown, grateful, in awe that our paths even crossed So unexpected, wings unclipped, it made perfect sense Connection so deep we were …

What Will You Change In Your Life When This Is All Over?

It’s Monday, another week in Covid-19 home isolation, and frankly, it feels just like yesterday and will probably feel the same as tomorrow. Who knew ‘Manic Mondays’ or the ‘Monday Blues’ could feel a tad outdated and trigger a slight bit of nostalgia. I woke up this morning with a burning question in mind: what will you change in your life when this is all over? I sent a message to a few close friends, curious about whether this life in forced isolation and all the emotions brought about by a global pandemic that’s bringing every man-made system to its knees, has created any lasting shifts in the way they thought, felt, and viewed their lives. I would love to hear your thoughts. As for me, here are a few things I’d like to really practice in my day to day life starting now: Really be present. Like many of you, I’ve also been thrust into an introspective space and state of mind. The key learning: be present. That’s not new in and of itself. What …

Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

Why do you do what you do?

Recently, I’ve had several conversations about motivation and intention—why some women aim to look a certain way, get really lean, strong or, some would say, “look like men”; post fitness progress pictures on Instagram; or pursue physical activity to an extent some would consider a little too much. Why yoga? Why crossfit? Why running? Why this or that?

Survival guide to a new job & a new city

While this is my fourth major move as an ‘expat,’ I have to admit there are some things that may seem basic to others, but that I’m still learning with each new move. I’ve gotten much better at negotiating, getting what I deserve (and want), and making sure I’m valued for what I’m worth. Having said that, maybe it’s social conditioning or it could be biological… but I’m well aware that I, like many women, still have the tendency of being ‘too nice’ or not being aggressive enough in communicating my demands and making sure they are met. Here are a few things I’ve learned in a career of 15 years (so far):

Feel like a fraud? Stop right there.

“We’d like to make you an offer,” the e-mail began. I gasped, whispered yes!, briefly soaked in the feeling of sweet victory, and breathlessly shared the good news with a few people. Then, a few minutes later, it turned to disbelief with a tinge of doubt. Wait, what? They chose me? I wonder why… Note to self: STOP right there. I should’ve Googled it much sooner. Type > > I m p o s t o r   S y n d r o m e, and within seconds, I would’ve realised that I wasn’t alone—that feeling like a fraud was more common than I thought. It wasn’t until I came across Natalie Portman’s Harvard Commencement 2015 speech that it dawned on me: it’s NOT just me. Natalie Portman experiences it. Even Natalie Portman. The Natalie Portman. I felt a huge sense of relief. I was then able to detach myself from the “feeling” and look at it objectively. I read article after article and found out that it’s more common among women, and it’s common …

Credit: Freestocks.org on Flickr

He loves me? No. I love me.

When it comes to women and relationships, there’s nothing more frustrating than to see intelligent, strong, successful, self-sufficient, well-travelled, beautiful women succumb to desperation. Desperation because of a man. Desperate for the love of a man. In extreme cases, it doesn’t even matter which man. Just any man will do.

Credit: Katerina Athanasaki on Flickr

An undervalued key to a strong, lasting relationship

In articles that explore the ‘secret’ to a lasting relationship, I’ve come across kindness, tolerance, acceptance, companionship, respect, and many other wonderful traits couples who’ve been together for a long time have.

But there’s something I haven’t come across yet, and personally, it’s something that has worked for me for the past 15 years. I also see this in Michelle and Barack Obama’s relationship.

It’s the most unromantic-sounding trait, but from a purely rational perspective, it’s almost a no-brainer to understand why this is a powerful glue that can hold a couple together and keep them happy together.

Credit: Astrid Westvang on Flickr

Body positive, but not complacent

There’s a lot of passionate debate online over what body positivity means, but I’d like to focus on one part of the discussion: your view of your body. There will always be judgment coming from all directions, but that’s just noise. The most important ‘judgment’ is the one you make on yourself. In fact, it’s not judgment you need, but acceptance.

Having said that…

Yes, you have to love and accept your body just the way it is. BUT loving your body entails taking care of it by keeping it healthy and active.