Recently, I’ve had several conversations about motivation and intention—why some women aim to look a certain way, get really lean, strong or, some would say, “look like men”; post fitness progress pictures on Instagram; or pursue physical activity to an extent some would consider a little too much. Why yoga? Why crossfit? Why running? Why this or that?
Let me tell you this right away: no one can answer this for you except, well… you. Being in a couple when you’re both in the same city or same home is hard enough, and maintaining an LDR is surely harder. I’m sharing the thinking process that led me to my decision to perhaps help you ask the questions that need to be asked.
This is the third time my husband and I are doing the long-distance thing. While I still think choosing to live in two different places is ‘unnatural’ for a couple, I don’t think it’s weird or unnatural when a couple decide to do so.
Dépaysement (nm)—an untranslatable French word that “can mean anything from disorientation to culture shock. The word is formed from the word pays or ‘country’ and would literally mean something like ‘to be uncountried’. Dépaysement is the feeling one gets of not being in one’s own country, of being a foreigner.”
It’s that time of year again where we get to look back on the year that was and resolve to do better and be better in the year(s) to come. While changing for the better is ideally practiced every day and at every possible moment, there is something romantic about doing a yearly ‘one-time-big-time’ exercise of taking stock of our lives and doing a ‘life cleanse’. Getting rid of physical things Often, sorting out what’s in our heads can be difficult and overwhelming. What helps me get in the right frame of mind to ‘sort’ life out is physically clearing out my closet, cabinets, boxes, luggage, and getting rid of anything that brings no added value, meaning or joy into my life. I’ve always been averse to owning many things, but for one reason or another, I’m not completely spared from the annoying human habit of inadvertently accumulating all sorts of useless stuff over time. I actually did it, I threw out more than a dozen trash bags full of old receipts, packaging, useless brochures, …
The experience has taught me many things, one of which is this: there is no right answer to what success is. Because happiness is subjective, it isn’t rational to have a one-size-fits-all measuring stick for life. We get to decide how we measure the quality of the lives we live. Forget everyone else’s notion of success, happiness and fulfilment. The most accurate life compass you can rely on lies in your heart and the depths of your gut.
For many women, it’s the hardest thing to lose. At some point, I told myself it’s genetic and I just have to accept that I’ll always have a bloated lower belly. While I’m all for acceptance, my reasoning was flawed because I knew I hadn’t put in the effort to do something about it. That’s the good news: we actually can help our bodies torch the unwanted fat gathering around our lower bellies.
Do you see yourself as a victim? Or do you see opportunity even in hard times? Do you go through life blaming the world for your situation? Before I get into that, allow me to talk cinema for a bit.