All posts filed under: Lifestyle

Don’t Say You Can’t, Tell Me You Won’t

On truth and broken promises The sweetness of beautiful promises Intoxicating, dripping like morning dew Matched only by sweet kisses Doubts, fears give way to what feels true Words so precious, my heart in your hand But when I ask for more, you always say ‘I can’t’ You asked for patience, you need more time Sshh, quiet down inner voice, buckle down, stand by Why does it hurt? Loving you is my only crime And why, after the laughter, do I break down and cry? Mere crumbs, I know, you give what you can So when I ask for more, you always say ‘I can’t’ Every sunrise is brighter, sunsets more divine Senses peak, awakened like never before The mundane made special, your existence sublime Life is extraordinary, why ask for more? Because I know my worth, I know where I stand Proof is in the pudding, you always say ‘I can’t’ Mind blown, grateful, in awe that our paths even crossed So unexpected, wings unclipped, it made perfect sense Connection so deep we were …

What Will You Change In Your Life When This Is All Over?

It’s Monday, another week in Covid-19 home isolation, and frankly, it feels just like yesterday and will probably feel the same as tomorrow. Who knew ‘Manic Mondays’ or the ‘Monday Blues’ could feel a tad outdated and trigger a slight bit of nostalgia. I woke up this morning with a burning question in mind: what will you change in your life when this is all over? I sent a message to a few close friends, curious about whether this life in forced isolation and all the emotions brought about by a global pandemic that’s bringing every man-made system to its knees, has created any lasting shifts in the way they thought, felt, and viewed their lives. I would love to hear your thoughts. As for me, here are a few things I’d like to really practice in my day to day life starting now: Really be present. Like many of you, I’ve also been thrust into an introspective space and state of mind. The key learning: be present. That’s not new in and of itself. What …

In Honour of the Medical Profession

In case you’ve been living under a rock, the World Health Organisation declared the global COVID-19 outbreak a pandemic. In our new recent reality, coronavirus stories abound — from panic buying of toilet paper to entire countries going on lockdown. But the most heartbreaking stories come from the men and women on the frontline of this fight: doctors, nurses, medics, medical volunteers and other health professionals risking their own safety and that of their families to put others’ lives and safety first. The men and women who, in the worst affected places, are put in the horrible position of having to decide essentially who gets to live and who dies. Let’s take a moment to remember that this has been the daily reality of doctors in war-torn places like Syria for years, or simply a fact of life for doctors practicing in extremely poor countries with very limited resources. Since news of the virus broke, I’ve been constantly discussing the science, the news, virology, epidemiology, people’s reaction (both overreaction and brash dismissals) with several doctor …

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

Long-distance relationship: is it for you?

Let me tell you this right away: no one can answer this for you except, well… you. Being in a couple when you’re both in the same city or same home is hard enough, and maintaining an LDR is surely harder. I’m sharing the thinking process that led me to my decision to perhaps help you ask the questions that need to be asked.

This is the third time my husband and I are doing the long-distance thing. While I still think choosing to live in two different places is ‘unnatural’ for a couple, I don’t think it’s weird or unnatural when a couple decide to do so.

Survival guide to a new job & a new city

While this is my fourth major move as an ‘expat,’ I have to admit there are some things that may seem basic to others, but that I’m still learning with each new move. I’ve gotten much better at negotiating, getting what I deserve (and want), and making sure I’m valued for what I’m worth. Having said that, maybe it’s social conditioning or it could be biological… but I’m well aware that I, like many women, still have the tendency of being ‘too nice’ or not being aggressive enough in communicating my demands and making sure they are met. Here are a few things I’ve learned in a career of 15 years (so far):

Feel like a fraud? Stop right there.

“We’d like to make you an offer,” the e-mail began. I gasped, whispered yes!, briefly soaked in the feeling of sweet victory, and breathlessly shared the good news with a few people. Then, a few minutes later, it turned to disbelief with a tinge of doubt. Wait, what? They chose me? I wonder why… Note to self: STOP right there. I should’ve Googled it much sooner. Type > > I m p o s t o r   S y n d r o m e, and within seconds, I would’ve realised that I wasn’t alone—that feeling like a fraud was more common than I thought. It wasn’t until I came across Natalie Portman’s Harvard Commencement 2015 speech that it dawned on me: it’s NOT just me. Natalie Portman experiences it. Even Natalie Portman. The Natalie Portman. I felt a huge sense of relief. I was then able to detach myself from the “feeling” and look at it objectively. I read article after article and found out that it’s more common among women, and it’s common …

How I got my latest dream job

I’ve had many dream jobs. They change as time goes by and I achieve Level 1, unlocking the next stage. I upgrade and tweak my dreams, so to speak. Before I get into the how’s, let me separate my actions into two parts: sustained actions which I’ve done over a long period of time and continue to do so, and tactical actions which specifically target a goal—in this case, a specific job.

Taking stock

It’s that time of year again where we get to look back on the year that was and resolve to do better and be better in the year(s) to come. While changing for the better is ideally practiced every day and at every possible moment, there is something romantic about doing a yearly ‘one-time-big-time’ exercise of taking stock of our lives and doing a ‘life cleanse’. Getting rid of physical things Often, sorting out what’s in our heads can be difficult and overwhelming. What helps me get in the right frame of mind to ‘sort’ life out is physically clearing out my closet, cabinets, boxes, luggage, and getting rid of anything that brings no added value, meaning or joy into my life. I’ve always been averse to owning many things, but for one reason or another, I’m not completely spared from the annoying human habit of inadvertently accumulating all sorts of useless stuff over time. I actually did it, I threw out more than a dozen trash bags full of old receipts, packaging, useless brochures, …

How do you measure your life?

The experience has taught me many things, one of which is this: there is no right answer to what success is. Because happiness is subjective, it isn’t rational to have a one-size-fits-all measuring stick for life. We get to decide how we measure the quality of the lives we live. Forget everyone else’s notion of success, happiness and fulfilment. The most accurate life compass you can rely on lies in your heart and the depths of your gut. 

Credit: Freestocks.org on Flickr

He loves me? No. I love me.

When it comes to women and relationships, there’s nothing more frustrating than to see intelligent, strong, successful, self-sufficient, well-travelled, beautiful women succumb to desperation. Desperation because of a man. Desperate for the love of a man. In extreme cases, it doesn’t even matter which man. Just any man will do.