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Permission To Course-Correct

Yes, you have permission. You’ve always had permission.

Our whole lives, social constructs and institutions put so much pressure on us to get life right the first time around. And when we don’t get it right—as humans are prone to mistakes and bad judgment—we know in our heads that we have the choice to course-correct, but most people don’t dare. And when we do dare, we go through this whole internal crisis.

But still, most won’t dare.

Why? Because it’s easier to stay the course, to keep on smiling as we play the part we’ve created and built up for ourselves over the years. And all the while, we’re dying inside.

Think about it: how are we to make the most informed decision about our future career paths at age 16? How can we make a lifelong decision about whom to marry at age 21 or 25 when we haven’t even quite understood who we are? Chances are, those choices are made based on very limited knowledge of the world, of ourselves, and what we really want.

Yes there are those who seem to have had it all figured out at a young age — the math whiz who wrote his first computer program at age 13 and went on to become one of the most influential people in the world today. Or the boy who taught himself computing at age 10 and went on to become our key to space tourism. Or the woman who, at age 10, suddenly became heir to the British throne. That’s not most of us.

Most, and I’m tempted to say all, the social rules that keep us in line and shape our lives for us are artificial social constructs. Sure, they may serve some purpose — create order, keep the peace, ensure the survival of the species. But at what price? Our collective suffering?

Look, realising you chose the wrong university major, spent decades in the wrong career, trusted the wrong people, moved to the wrong city, or married/are dating the wrong person is not the end of the world.

We human beings are flawed. The beauty of being human is having the ability to change course when we make mistakes. We are adaptable. We survived to this day because we are able to. So when you find yourself at a crossroads of having to make the difficult decision of course-correcting, know that you don’t need to ask for permission to do so. You already have it by virtue of being human.

It’s not surprising that weeks of being in confinement has made many of us hold up a bigger mirror in front of ourselves and confront our demons. We have been subjected to an extreme form of social distancing that’s made us question which relationships matter most to us, which pursuits deserve our dedication the most, and which dreams we have to reach for as soon as we’re out of lockdown.

It’s okay to course-correct. It’s okay to pivot. The social rules that dictate how we should be living our lives are all in your head. Trust that your own internal compass will always guide you to your truth. If there’s anything this period has highlighted, it’s that our world can really change in an instant. For real. Tomorrow may never come, so follow your heart today. Live authentically. You already have permission.

Personal Struggles Aren’t Any Less Important During A Pandemic

When the world essentially shuts down in the blink of an eye, where even the humdrum of daily life grinds to a halt, the world’s busiest cities in a state of complete emptiness we never would’ve imagined possible, it’s fair to say, it’s shocking.

I’m probably still in shock. The speed, gravity, and all-encompassing way this pandemic has permeated and disrupted every aspect of our individual and collective lives is — based on sheer scale — impressive.

Such a massive event triggers our fight or flight instinct, it takes us off balance, and for many of us who suddenly find ourselves with a lot more time on our hands to ruminate and a lot less human contact, it shifts perspectives and perhaps makes us come to realisations we otherwise wouldn’t have had.

Like every single one of you, I have personal struggles of all shapes and sizes. But since home confinement began, I’ve learned to see the bigger picture and really found a renewed sense of not sweating the small stuff. I am but a speck in this universe, and in the face of a ruthless, invisible enemy, feelings of surrender and acceptance are welcome emotions. That’s the upside.

The downside is, I may have also inadvertently used this global pandemic to sweep my personal issues under the rug, thereby delaying dealing with them, and to some extent, trivialising them.

The last few days have been really tough emotionally. No matter how hard I tried to shrug it off, I still had to navigate a tangled web of emotions that came in powerful waves. It left me sad, deflated, confused. But I kept telling myself, “Stop it. There are doctors, nurses, frontline staff dealing with real dangers and saving lives. What you complaining about?” I pretty much shamed myself for even thinking of worrying about my problems when the world is going through a giant one of its own!

Then one morning, I found myself bawling in a corner of my kitchen floor. Surprisingly, I had the presence of mind to take a selfie to remind myself of that low point. I was shocked at myself. I let myself cry, scream, howl in pain until I couldn’t anymore. I couldn’t breathe (really not a good thing when “shortness of breath” immediately triggers Covid fears). It was at that low point that I made a decision I should’ve made a long time ago. I stood up and thought, “Right, stop this right now. Deal with your problems. Pandemic or not, I’m going to work on myself.” The sight of a strong, independent, ambitious, driven, hopeful, positive woman on the kitchen floor shook me awake.

For the first time ever, I spoke to a life coach via zoom. Well, that’s not exactly accurate. I did test the waters twice before but ended up taking notes on their line of questioning and psychoanalysing them instead. So I never went back. I know, that’s not how it works. So I just thought it wasn’t for me. But that moment on my kitchen floor — a moment of complete loss of control — scared me enough to give it another shot.

When I made that booking for a call with the coach, that gesture alone made me feel like something had been lifted inside me. It was a step towards something positive. I was taking action. I felt empowered. It’s a tiny first step, but a step nonetheless. My problems needed to be dealt with regardless of what was going on in the world. These are the cards I was dealt, it’s not any more or less important than anybody else’s. It’s just a fact of my life.

I’m not an expert. These are based on my own personal experiences and are things I’ve told myself and realised in the past couple of weeks:

Just because there’s a global pause doesn’t mean your struggles are trivial.

I briefly touched on this already. What’s happening in the world has no connection to the struggles you’ve been dealing with even before this pandemic came along. Whining about actual trivial concerns is one thing, but legitimate struggles are not trivial. Your struggles are real. Do not trivialise them. Doing so feels unhealthy.

Just because there’s a global pause doesn’t mean your personal boundaries are on hold too.

This was the source of a lot of anxiety for me. Perhaps because I felt nothing matters anymore in this weird apocalyptic world, I had let my personal boundaries slip a little and some people take advantage of such openings. Doing so eroded my self-confidence and self-worth. Catch yourself before it gets out of hand. Do not ever let anyone cross your personal boundaries. Not even in a pandemic.

There’s never been a better time to talk to someone. Maybe a friend, maybe a professional. Be open.

It feels like we’re set up especially for remote one-on-one talk time. Everyone’s on zoom these days, and being home all day gives us the perfect opportunity to really talk to someone or perhaps sneak in a session with a pro. I’ve never felt so nervous about a call before. I was nervous because my lowest point pushed me to confront myself. It felt like stripping my soul bare. That is damn scary. Saying my struggles out loud was therapeutic in itself. I thoroughly enjoyed my ‘discovery session’ today and wished we could’ve gone on and on and talked all day! Alright, that might be the self-isolation talking.

Acknowledge and observe yourself when you hit a low.

It’s okay not to be okay. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions are bubbling up inside you. And when you find yourself hitting rock bottom, take a selfie, write a journal entry, or find any other way of recording that moment. Seeing ourselves at our lowest is confronting and a stark reminder that we don’t want to be in that low place. Seeing myself writhing in visceral pain shocked me into action.

***


The world might have come screeching to a halt, but we keep on living. We keep on going. It’s easy to fall into complacency when we now have the ability to stay in our pyjamas all day long, occasionally putting on a blazer for work calls; get away with not washing our hair for days; bingeing on Netflix; zooming with as many people as we can; and engaging in all other activities of this isolation life that can be both a source of much-needed connection and entertainment, as well as a slippery slope to zombification.

Look, Covid-19 is many things. But it isn’t an excuse to hide from your pain or hit pause on yourself and your struggles.

Don’t Say You Can’t, Tell Me You Won’t

On truth and broken promises

The sweetness of beautiful promises
Intoxicating, dripping like morning dew
Matched only by sweet kisses
Doubts, fears give way to what feels true
Words so precious, my heart in your hand
But when I ask for more, you always say ‘I can’t’

You asked for patience, you need more time
Sshh, quiet down inner voice, buckle down, stand by
Why does it hurt? Loving you is my only crime
And why, after the laughter, do I break down and cry?
Mere crumbs, I know, you give what you can
So when I ask for more, you always say ‘I can’t’

Every sunrise is brighter, sunsets more divine
Senses peak, awakened like never before
The mundane made special, your existence sublime
Life is extraordinary, why ask for more?
Because I know my worth, I know where I stand
Proof is in the pudding, you always say ‘I can’t’

Mind blown, grateful, in awe that our paths even crossed
So unexpected, wings unclipped, it made perfect sense
Connection so deep we were engrossed
But reality set in, it became a life in pretence
I don’t blame you, don’t apologise, just don’t
But please, stop saying you can’t, just tell me you won’t

Can’t Is A Euphemism For Won’t

Let me say it again: can’t is a euphemism for won’t. (Thanks to Marie Forleo for this gem of a quote.)

Own your choices. Recognise when others aren’t owning theirs and hurting you in the process.

Take back responsibility. Don’t let others get away with not doing so.

Empower yourself. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. So when you say you can’t, remember that 99% of the time, you really mean you won’t. And it’s okay. But say it. Own it. Accept your choices.

What Will You Change In Your Life When This Is All Over?

It’s Monday, another week in Covid-19 home isolation, and frankly, it feels just like yesterday and will probably feel the same as tomorrow. Who knew ‘Manic Mondays’ or the ‘Monday Blues’ could feel a tad outdated and trigger a slight bit of nostalgia.

I woke up this morning with a burning question in mind: what will you change in your life when this is all over? I sent a message to a few close friends, curious about whether this life in forced isolation and all the emotions brought about by a global pandemic that’s bringing every man-made system to its knees, has created any lasting shifts in the way they thought, felt, and viewed their lives.

I would love to hear your thoughts. As for me, here are a few things I’d like to really practice in my day to day life starting now:

Really be present.

Like many of you, I’ve also been thrust into an introspective space and state of mind. The key learning: be present. That’s not new in and of itself. What is new is that I hadn’t experienced this type of “being present” before. Back then, let’s say I’m contemplating how beautiful a sunrise is and how grateful I am for that moment, I might be enjoying the present, but I sure as hell am also thinking about the future because all the positive feelings evoked by that sunrise is making me imagine ALL the things I still want to do in life. Even that, even that kind of positive feeling, I now realise is still living in the future.

But now that “planning for the future” consists of what time I should go for a walk, whom to call for a video chat, what to read today, what time I should sleep tonight…these things are really about TODAY, the PRESENT. It’s a different feeling and state of mind, so now that I am aware of what THAT feels like, I would be able to keep myself in that state and catch myself if I think I’m living in the present but am actually not. There’s now a whole new meaning to the cliché life is short.

What’s that I hear? Birds chirping. Wind rustling the leaves on the trees. What’s this I enjoy? Ah, my cup of coffee. That’s about all I can think about right now.

Choose people who choose you

This is very personal to me. I’m not one to care at all about the opinion of others, really. My job is in the public eye, with lots of over-the-top, attention-seeking personalities in the industry, so I’ve developed a thick skin over the years. Thankfully, I’m generally unfazed by groundless criticism or rejection. But I do care about the opinion and attention of those I love and those who play an important and valuable role in my life.

That said, however, there are times when those you love tend to overlook you, your feelings or your needs. Perhaps not intentionally. But if, even after having an honest conversation with them, this continues, it’s time to reassess the role of that person in your life.

It’s painful and not something any of us would want to think about. If we realise we need to cut ties with someone we love, it’s a massive personal loss, and the mourning can be deep and long.

When confronted with an overwhelming and scary world like this Covid-19 parallel universe, it lifts the veil on all the excuses we come up with to justify our addiction to and the continued presence of a toxic loved one in our lives.

If they aren’t treating you right, don’t put up with it. Choose people who choose you on a daily basis. Now that we have a newfound appreciation for each new day, make this a non-negotiable. If this were your last day, you’d want to be surrounded by people who love you for you and make you feel it.

Know your truth. Then be brave enough to follow it.

Thing is, I’ve practiced a lot of courage in my life. Even if I don’t always succeed at being brave, I always try because one of the greatest fears I’ve had since I was a little girl was having a mediocre existence, living a mediocre life.

So I pursued my dreams no matter how slim the odds. I went against established socio-cultural expectations and wasn’t the slightest bit bothered about doing so. I challenged those who blindly believed in something they hadn’t questioned. I went paragliding. I went to a war zone. I’ve battled illness. I’ve moved countries so many times I’ve lost count.

So why is this something I’d like “to change” if I believe I’m already practicing it? See, all those things I had been brave enough to go against or pursue were mostly things that either proved existing external limitations wrong (i.e. limits, real or perceived, placed on women or other minorities) or existing socio-cultural rules that trigger a lot of guilt when not adhered to. They’re mostly external.

Self-isolation has magnified a whole other measuring stick that challenges even the bravest of us: ourselves and our own self-imposed rules and checklists. It’s a very confronting thing to come to terms with OUR TRUTH and what we, in our heart of hearts, truly want, value, feel and believe in. When our truth contradicts the reality we have created for ourselves, when our truth reveals something about ourselves we might not have wanted to admit, when our truth means we need to make painful but necessary changes in our lives, it’s damn hard to find that courage.

But take heart. Finding, knowing and acknowledging your truth is a huge personal accomplishment in and of itself. The courage will follow.

Be okay with not being okay.

Everywhere I look these day, I am inundated with images, articles, and stories of the high-achieving multi-dimensional jet-setting men and women with high-flying careers who work out, do intermittent fasting, meditate, practice yoga and live by stoic philosophy. Phew. Got tired just writing all that.

But yep, I’m also guilty of trying to be and do all those things. I preach and try to ooze positivity no matter how bleak my circumstances (silver lining to this Covid-19 twilight zone, anyone?). Negativity is so frowned upon these days that we’ve created a whole new dimension of added pressure. Be positive! Be happy! Everything happens for a reason! It’ll all work out for the best, you’ll see! Gaaaaaah. Yes yes, I know all that. But sometimes I just feel crappy and want to feel crappy. For a whole hour! Is that really so bad? Will that really make me less of a positive person?

It’s okay to not be okay! Cry if you need to. Scream your lungs out. Hug your favourite stuffed toy. Get that sad playlist going in a loop. Go, do it!

Express gratitude and appreciation a whole lot more.

If you feel it, say it. If you think it, express it. Now that we’ve experienced what it’s like to be forced to distance ourselves from people we love, like, or enjoy being with, and now that we’ve realised there’s really no shortage of ways to get in touch if we really wanted to, find a way to be more expressive about how you feel especially when those are feelings of gratitude and appreciation for another person. Say thank you. Say I love you. Say I’m glad you’re in my life. Say I’m here for you.

Not wasting time. No, really. For real this time.

Our modern lives are overstimulated, no doubt about that. Even those of us who spend time on introspection and mindfulness have not escaped the constant churning wheel of our jam-packed days. There’s also no doubt that life in isolation means our entertainment and communication options are limited so screen time has collectively gone up.

But it’s precisely because we’ve been put in this extreme, in almost complete dependence on our gadgets to get through this that the need to go back to basics is even stronger. I am more conscious of zombie scrolling these days. Why? There’s no other way to put it other than doing that all day long makes me feel like crap.

To regain some sort of control in this new reality, I’ve learned to schedule time for reading, cooking, exercising, video calling, meditating, writing, working, all within the four walls of my flat. When you’re faced with 24 hours of unstructured time, multiply that by 7 days a week, and no end in sight for the foreseeable future, wasting time actually feels wasteful.

Living in this Covid-19 world has made us collectively confront the fragility of life and the fleeting nature of time, and it has also made us overwhelmingly aware and in need of all the freedoms we might have taken for granted before.


None of what I had written above are new, either to you or to me. But what’s different for me now is how strongly I feel about these principles and having this newfound conscious recognition of what it really means to do them, not just pay them lip service.

What about you? What are some things you’d like to change or work on as soon as all this is over?

And don’t forget, you can start RIGHT NOW.

Life In A Pandemic: Don’t Waste Its Valuable Lessons

How do you find calm in a world gone mad? How do we stay sane amid border closures, flight cancellations, total lockdown, panic buying, and an invisible enemy that’s ruthlessly and indiscriminately claiming lives, breaking down healthcare systems, and bringing the world economy to its knees?

I took the photo above in a town by the coast last week, day 2 of what was supposed to be a two-week holiday that had to be cut short that very same day. How blissfully unaware that little boy was to the chaos and madness fast unfolding in the wider world. Must be nice, I thought.

The tense atmosphere and drastic disruptive changes to daily life brought about by the Covid-19 global pandemic and subsequent lockdowns have been rude awakenings. I cried the first two days upon our return from that long-anticipated trip that ended almost as soon as it started. The wave of emotion felt like an all-encompassing, overwhelming force that I couldn’t quite break down into comprehensible pieces. That’s the most difficult part of this pandemic finding calm amid all the health, economic and societal worries.

While walking in the park to get some sunlight and fresh air (always keeping a 1.5m-social distance with others), I voiced a litany of concerns to my husband. He said, “Our main focus now is stay alive.” It sounded a little absurd and funny, but he’s right.

One of the biggest blessings of this global pandemic is PERSPECTIVE. Most of what we preoccupied ourselves with prior to this don’t seem all that important anymore. What matters are the simple yet profound things: love, kindness, inner peace, and all those beautiful things that sound like concepts, but in moments of extreme difficulty, prove to be our lifelines.

The world hit the pause button. Mother Nature is getting a break. A collective shift is taking place where we’re forced to find new (and perhaps better) ways of going about our personal and work lives, how we connect with people, how it feels like to lose the freedoms we might have been taking for granted, how nice it is to have down time of just being with our nearest and dearest. All those, and much more, have come to the surface as we learn to find ways of coping and finding beauty amidst this weird world we suddenly find ourselves in.

We are also forced to face the fact that we, members of the human race, are all on the same side and it doesn’t matter who you are, where you live, how rich and powerful you are, what your political leaning is a virus that kills is a virus that kills, that’s all there is to it. The only way we can get through this is to work together. Otherwise, we’re screwed.

(Re)connecting in Isolation

So how to you find calm stay sane — at a time of forced social distancing and isolation? Unsurprisingly, it’s by seeking out genuine connections that we are able to beat the psychological impact of isolation. 

When overwhelmed with emotions rooted in worry, my tendency is to wonder, “What’s the point?” How can I think about happiness or life goals when the world feels like it’s about to end? How important is my own happiness really in the midst of worrying about the collective good and bigger responsibilities? Frankly, that’s the complete opposite of what I should’ve been doing. A good friend told me, “Our connection is a godsend at a time like this.” Indeed, it is. It’s precisely at these moments that we should be holding on even tighter to those precious connections with humans we love.

Hold on to those precious people, moments and memories. Cherish them like you’ve never cherished anything before. This weird world right now, no matter how apocalyptic it may seem sometimes, is teaching us valuable lessons and showing us the depth of human compassion and strength. Let’s not waste it.

In Honour of the Medical Profession

In case you’ve been living under a rock, the World Health Organisation declared the global COVID-19 outbreak a pandemic. In our new recent reality, coronavirus stories abound — from panic buying of toilet paper to entire countries going on lockdown. But the most heartbreaking stories come from the men and women on the frontline of this fight: doctors, nurses, medics, medical volunteers and other health professionals risking their own safety and that of their families to put others’ lives and safety first. The men and women who, in the worst affected places, are put in the horrible position of having to decide essentially who gets to live and who dies. Let’s take a moment to remember that this has been the daily reality of doctors in war-torn places like Syria for years, or simply a fact of life for doctors practicing in extremely poor countries with very limited resources.

Since news of the virus broke, I’ve been constantly discussing the science, the news, virology, epidemiology, people’s reaction (both overreaction and brash dismissals) with several doctor friends. In the last few days, when news of the dire situation in Italy started trickling out, I could feel the heartbreak of my friends as they put themselves in their peers’ shoes.

“For us doctors, it’s so painful to make those decisions,” said one of my best friends. Even through text message, I could hear her heart breaking and felt the visceral pain she felt from people who seem to dismiss the desperate pleas of medical professionals dealing with COVID-19 to please do their part through social distancing, better hygiene, not panicking, and looking out for each other. It’s not about panic, it’s about doing our little bit to help the healthcare system cope.

To all the selfless men and women putting their own health on the line to help others, thank you. We recognise your sacrifice, your selflessness, your love for your patients. We’re rooting for you, thinking of you when you collapse from exhaustion at the end of a 24-hour day. But wait, you don’t even know how many hours have passed because days bleed into each other. We’re rooting for you to have the mental, emotional and psychological strength you need as you power through without so much as a glass of water all day. We’re thanking you and thinking of you when your heart aches from missing your spouse and your kids. We’re cheering you on as you silently celebrate small victories when a patient’s condition improves. We’re crying with you when you have to make the difficult choice of giving one person the chance to live over another. We have our hands on your shoulder as you sit in a corner, head in hands, to regroup and take a deep breath before seeing your next patient and doing it all over again. We’re holding your hand in support and gratitude as we fight this virus as one human race. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you. 

Photo by Natalie Collins on Unsplash

Review: Bulletproof coffee?

Is it a hype or does it work?

The first time a good friend of mine mentioned bulletproof coffee or BPC, I visibly flinched. How can coffee, butter and coconut oil be good, let alone drinkable?! I soon discovered its cult-like following on social media, and numerous fitness influencers who swear by its effects. Of course, I have also come across articles warning me of my potential ignorance should I “fall” for the BPC craze. So far though, it seems supporters outnumber detractors, at least in my ‘algorithmically’ manipulated social media networks.

Read More

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

Long-distance relationship: is it for you?

Let me tell you this right away: no one can answer this for you except, well… you. Being in a couple when you’re both in the same city or same home is hard enough, and maintaining an LDR is surely harder. I’m sharing the thinking process that led me to my decision to perhaps help you ask the questions that need to be asked.

This is the third time my husband and I are doing the long-distance thing. While I still think choosing to live in two different places is ‘unnatural’ for a couple, I don’t think it’s weird or unnatural when a couple decide to do so.

Are we strong enough?

For background, we’ve done China-Russia, Belgum-UK, and now Belgium-France and it was always because of a really good job opportunity. We’ve been together for almost 14 years, but the first thing I always ask myself when deciding whether or not to go for a job in another city is, “Where are we in our relationship? Are we in a good, strong place right now?”

If the answer to this is yes, I move forward with my decision-making process. If not, and I do want to keep my relationship, then that’s that. Thankfully, the three times a great job opportunity came up, things were great.

Right now, we’re in the prime of our careers, no kids and eager to keep learning and achieving. For me, I think it’s extremely important for each one to feel fulfilled in one’s own pursuits in order to be fully present in the couple. When either one feels inadequate or that something’s missing in his/her life, that’s when problems arise. I would always support my husband in his next career move, and if I’m ready to give up my job in order to make his possible, then I will. But in some cases, BOTH of us are presented with amazing opportunities, and these won’t knock on our doors again. So it is during these extraordinary instances that we’ve taken the long-distance relationship route. In fact, he gave up his job in Asia in order to join me in Russia because we both decided that the job he had back then was not good enough to justify living apart. So he supported my career opportunity with no hesitation.

Are the opportunities good enough?

So the next couple of questions I ask myself are, “Is the job opportunity good enough for me to consider living in another city?” If yes, “Is his job opportunity good enough for him to consider staying in the current city rather than moving with me?” If yes, then living apart for a while is definitely on the table.

Can we afford it?

Another issue couples, even the strongest ones, tend to argue over is money. So this is a definitely a case of asking myself, “Can we afford this? Does this impact our bottom line as a couple positively or negatively?” Living apart means paying two rents, and two of almost everything. It also means extra expenses for weekend travels when you try to see each other. If the goal is to take a job away from your partner in order to earn more and save more, then make sure this is really the case.

How long are we giving this arrangement?

When people ask, I normally say we’ll ‘wait and see,’ but in my head, I know I’m giving it a year and reassessing if the whole setup is worth it. It helps to have a timeframe in mind. Keeping this arrangement open-ended in terms of timing can cause frustration for both.

Do we have the same vision?

Remember that line by Antoine de Saint-Exupery?

Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.

 

For me, I think that at the end of the day, when you and your partner are both making this decision and sacrifice with the same common goal for your couple, everything will work itself out.

Having said all that, I still believe that my husband and I should be physically together. So does he. Life is too short not to spend every second with the one you love. But, there are realities in our modern way of life that sometimes requires us to make these sacrifices. For now, we both love our jobs, we message each other a hundred times a day, we send tons of selfies, we are enjoying the fruits of our labour. It’s only been 3 weeks since I started my new job and we’re too busy to feel sad. He’s super proud of me, and I of him. But if and when it gets unbearable, without a doubt, I will always choose him over a job. 😉

Survival guide to a new job & a new city

While this is my fourth major move as an ‘expat,’ I have to admit there are some things that may seem basic to others, but that I’m still learning with each new move. I’ve gotten much better at negotiating, getting what I deserve (and want), and making sure I’m valued for what I’m worth. Having said that, maybe it’s social conditioning or it could be biological… but I’m well aware that I, like many women, still have the tendency of being ‘too nice’ or not being aggressive enough in communicating my demands and making sure they are met. Here are a few things I’ve learned in a career of 15 years (so far): Read More